Near Death Experiences
It is now a year since I was involved in a near-fatal accident whilst out walking in the country lane outside my house. Hit from behind by a speeding motorbike I was thrown through the air landing with an obviously broken leg and a suspected broken back.
I now know that the entire emergency services were there that day - the fire engines, police, ambulance, and air ambulance and I am grateful to them all for their sterling efforts. Others involved in the incident stopped to help and one of the strangest things is that the majority of these people who have played such a pivotal role in your life in your hour of need probably never know what happened to you and you never get to meet them or thank them. So I do it here.
In this short video, Ric Elias, describes his experience of thinking his life was going to end when he was a passenger aboard the US Airways Flight 1549. The plane made a forced landing on the Hudson River in January 2009 when thrust was lost in both engines due to a bird strike at about 3,000 feet. Due to the skill of the pilot involved, all 155 passengers and crew survived the landing and subsequently made an orderly evacuation from the wing of the plane.
Click to watch Ric Elias talk (5 mins).
He recounts the three main realisations that he had in the few short minutes when he was sure his life was going to end. They are:
1. It can all change in an instant. We all have this bucket list of things we want to do and fences we want to mend, but nearly dying brings a sense of urgency and purpose to everything after which you no longer want to postpone anything. The example he gives is of someone collecting fine wines - he no longer has time for such things. Life is to be lived in the present and if the opportunity to drink a bottle of wine with a friend presents itself - he's drinking the wine - not saving it for some tomorrow which may never come.
2. He says that one of his biggest regrets was the number of times that he had let his ego get in the way and the time he had wasted on things that didn't matter with people that did matter. He subsequently decided to eliminate all negative energy from his life and reports that he has not had an argument with his wife since the accident as he now prioritises being happy over being right.
3. Dying is not scary - we all live with death in the midst of life. However, his overarching regret was that he thought he was not going to see his kids grow up. He has subsequently unashamedly sobbed at his small child's end of year concert. Of all his realisations, he said that he most wanted to be a great dad.
He finishes by saying that he was given the gift of not dying on that day. And, like Scrooge in a Christmas Carol, was given a glimpse of the future and an opportunity to come back and live differently.
Finally, he asks, what would you do and how would you change if the same thing happened to you?
What would you get done that you are always postponing for a tomorrow?
How would your relationships change?
And, are you being the best parent that you know how to be?
I can only echo the sentiments expressed in the video about how having a life-threatening incident can change you and I would also add that you find out who cares and who doesn't when these events occur.
My husband received a phone call from a neighbour in the middle of a working day telling him that I was being airlifted to the local spinal injuries unit with a suspected broken back. At the time of taking the call, he didn't know whether I had regained consciousness or not and indeed whether I was going to survive and if so, whether I would be a paraplegic or not.
This was obviously a shocking call to receive and his attitude has changed significantly since the accident as he realises that he could have lost me with absolutely no warning and it has put everything in perspective for him too. I can't say I can recommend it as a strategy for getting some perspective on what really matters - but it sure has helped.
Further resources
For books addressing this and similar topics, see under Emotional & Spiritual Health in Recommended Reading.
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